#31

Hello Grandma; I
am sending you my sweetest
kisses every day.

catherinenglish 01-31-2013

#30

Speech geeks are my favorite people in all the world, 
even if I stay up all night cutting plays, writing transitions,
fretting over ballots, extemporaneous topics, and whether or not 
we have enough rooms for every competitor at our own
invitational.  It's crazy but a whole lot of fun and exhaustion.

catherinenglish 01-30-2013

#29

Children are born to 
remind us of innocent
moments of great joy.

catherinenglish 01-29-2013

#28

Summer is toddler
time; freedom to play outside,
in the sweet salty sun. 

catherinenglish 01-28-2013

#27

I look up at the shelf of my journals again today and pulled out the blue one with the words "Celebrate Each New Day" embossed with gold on the cover and opened up to a poem I tried to write eight years ago:



The mint green card is faded,
brown stains, remnants of rubber cement,
"With sympathy and understanding" is written in white script,
the scene on the cover is mock needle point--
apple blossoms framing a stream with a foot bridge--
it's a peaceful image,
twenty years pass as I open the card,
"Those who know you  understand the loss you feel today"
the card begins; words I never paid attention to--
My eyes still search for your words, quickly scribbled, 
illegible really,
"Dear Cathy sorry I didn't make it love forgive me & you have dad's love, sympathy love hope 
your feeling better  love Dad"
and I know you meant every word of it, but
I wanted to hear it,
feel your callused hand in mine, 
smell the comfort of your Old Spice and perspiration,
feel your afternoon beard on my cheek,
smell your cigarette smoke and Tide scented plaid shirt,
feel your arms around me on that wind swept November day; 
I searched for your brown eyes, wanting to look away from that 
white Styrofoam box, pink carnations cascading to the ground. 
Did you not want to say goodbye to the granddaughter who would never be?

catherinenglish 01-27-2013

#26

It was Alpha Xi Delta's Mother-Daughter Day,
yesterday, but you, dear daughter, 
spent it at a speech tournament, 
judging younglings, 
while I spent the day, 
beginning at 5:00 a.m., 
coaching, judging, and putting out fires, 
but then drove to Lincoln, 
where we missed the Paint Yourself Silly event, 
but chose to attend the play,
the piece you cut for your final year of speech,
and I was reminded of your insight and wisdom
at the way you read and cut this play,
focusing on the message:

"Doubt can be a bond as powerful and sustaining as certainty. 
When you are lost, you are not alone. "

catherinenglish 01-27-2013

#25

The dead of winter makes me long for 

summer road trips with Anna,

noting all of the anti-abortion signs along back roads in Nebraska,

just because we wanted to count them. Stopping for lattes wherever we could, too, 

supporting locally owned businesses

but also Warren Buffett because we couldn't pass up a DQ and ice cream.

catherinenglish 01-25-2013